Hone Your Executive Presence and Stay True to Yourself

Lori Shaffer, Vice President of Global Nonwovens at Kimberly-Clark 

When I entered the technical field 21 years ago as an enthusiastic college graduate and started my career at Kimberly-Clark as a mechanical engineer, I quickly discovered there were preconceived notions of who I was when I entered a room.

Being female and blond has specific connotations in the U.S. culture, and my upbeat personality only reinforced that stereotype. It was obvious that people questioned my ability to do my job at the time, which was to work closely with manufacturing facilities, develop cost-savings initiatives, and partner with colleagues to enact them.

“Maybe people don’t take you seriously because you’re so bubbly, and you laugh a lot,” my former manager told me at an early performance review. “But I don’t want you to change too much because it wouldn’t be authentic.”

I wound up crying in the bathroom, thinking, if I don’t come off as professional then people won’t take me seriously and I’ll struggle to become a leader in the organization. Yet, I don’t want to be someone I’m not since authenticity has always been so important to me and a cornerstone of my personal brand.

I had built a network of trusted advisors and mentors — which I highly recommend to everyone — and I asked for their feedback. They suggested that it was likely the pace of my speech, and that my fast delivery sometimes made me appear nervous – or worse – difficult to understand. They recommended that I slow down.

It was a lightbulb moment.

I realized my supervisor wasn’t criticizing my personality but rather trying to help me recognize what could be undermining my credibility. That washed away my defensiveness and helped me focus on developing an effective style of communication and leadership.                       

Everybody talks about executive presence, but people rarely break it down for you.

It’s about demeanor and how confident and conscious you are with communication, such as speaking at a measured pace without extraneous comments or a question mark at the end of a sentence. It’s about body language that leans in and isn’t drifting off into space. A key part of executive presence is understanding the people around you and being conscious of how you make them feel.

In short, do you know how to read the room?

These are basic skills, but they can set people apart and take them to the next level. It boils down to emotional intelligence, and you have to be intentional about it.

I realized I needed to focus on the key messages that I wanted to land. I had to tune into my audience while also being open, honest, and able to articulate the difficult messages as well as the good news. If you are rolling through your agenda and don’t notice other people shutting down, your message gets lost. 

At the same time, I didn’t want to lose my authenticity, which is critical for an effective leader. That means staying true to your core values while also understanding your audience.

Who is your authentic self?

Spend some time thinking about your core values and the things you want people to remember and share about you. Write them down in a brief personal mission statement – that is your brand. 

When you are having a difficult day and can reference that piece of paper, it makes it easier to stay true to your ideal self. It ensures that your colleagues have a consistent experience of you, and it gives you strength to resist when you feel pressured to compromise. Instead, you can say no – that doesn’t align with my core values.

Staying true to your authentic self looks different for everyone. There were times in my career when I was somewhat envious of people whom I considered to be fashionable, and I asked one of my more stylish friends to take me shopping. She selected this orange, pink, and white print dress with a little gold shimmery vest and strappy heels. It was cute, but I felt like I was literally somebody else. I said, I cannot do it. It’s not me. I am faking it, but I’m not making it.

I realized it’s okay that I like to wear khakis and a black shirt. Maybe it’s simple, but it gives me my power stance. I can still appreciate people who wear very different clothing because I want to be in a colorful world and surrounded by people who are different from me.

Fast forward a few years…

I had developed an effective professional communication style when, six years into my career, I finished my MBA and transferred from a technical position into a marketing role. Many of my new colleagues were skeptical about my ability to make the transition, and I had to reestablish my credibility as a marketer. 

I had perfected my presence in the technical function and transitioned into an environment where I had to rethink my approach. I also had to prove that I could drive growth.

I was curious and wanted to learn from those around me. Again, I made a concerted effort to build a network because you can’t do anything alone.

When I presented a new strategy, I returned to the principles of executive presence. I read the audience, understood what they cared about and asked myself, how do I land these messages to persuade them to invest in new programs? I emphasized the key points.

I now serve as the vice president of global nonwovens at Kimberly-Clark, and I apply these strategies daily. Most people have to learn and adapt in their careers as I have done, and it’s important to understand that it’s okay not to have all the answers in the beginning.

When I reflect on my career thus far and the lessons learned along the way, the moment when I was crying in the bathroom after that early performance review will always stick with me – and I wouldn’t be who and where I am today without it. But perhaps more important, I now have the opportunity to share these learnings with my two young daughters. 

Regardless of the careers they pursue, I want them to know that professional success and authenticity are not mutually exclusive – in fact, it’s the opposite. I will emphasize to them that they should never compromise who they are for any job. Being authentic makes us someone who has the ability to empower, inspire and impact people’s lives for the better. That’s the type of leader I strive to be every day.